Most addictions have a negative impact on the partners and family members of the addict. Addictions that involve sexual behaviors can have an especially profound affect on partners because of the betrayal trauma experienced and the intimate nature of sexuality. Essentially, a partner’s world view in regards to trust, intimacy, and relationships is injured.
Individual partner therapy is offered as support for the trauma that is experienced from discovery of a loved one’s sexually acting out behaviors. Our staff has the training and experience to provide recovery support in a safe environment that is compassionate and non-blaming. In therapy we help you develop boundaries for emotional and physical safety, as well as healthy ways of responding to boundary violations.
Additionally, we’ll work with you using a “trauma model” of partner recovery. Some therapists may label you a “co-addict” and “help” you see how you caused your partner’s acting out. We’ve heard stories of therapists who have told partners to “be more sexual so your partner won’t have to find it somewhere else.” This disgusts us.
The trauma model starts with the understanding that you’ve been through traumatic experiences – discovering the addiction, the loss of trust, isolation, the shock and disgust many partners experience, and more. We treat these traumas with proven tools (EMDR and others) to help you regain your footing in the world.
As you begin to reestablish your “self,” (two words, not one) we help guide you through the process of recovery. Yes, you AND your addicted partner will be in recovery, albeit recovery of very different kinds.
Rebuilding and experiencing a trusting and intimate relationship after the discovery of your partner’s sex addiction is possible despite the trauma experienced. Recovery starts with sharing your story with someone who understands the wounds you have experienced and is trained, prepared and ready to guide you through the process.
At Counseling & Recovery Partners we have male and female therapists trained in treatment of trauma and addiction to help you recover to a new self, better than before.